It’s been super pretty weather here this weekend, so we took the opportunity to get off the couch and get some sunshine in our lives…
Monthly Archives: January 2012
Sassy Suggestion Deux
It’s Friday biatches! And you know Friday means!!….The weekend, duh!? Unless you work weekends, ehh that sucks. Wahh wahhh. But, I don’t. So moving on.
I know the weekend is a great time to sit on your couch and eat ice cream. You don’t have to tell me, honey! But, in an effort to make 2012 better for yourself and possibly impact someone or something around you in a good way, you (and I) have to put the ice cream shovel down and peel ourselves out of the cracks of our couch. Remember? Read last week’s Sassy Suggestion here.
“Spontaneously engage in acts of benevolence and generosity.”- Leon Nacson
He’s a Beaut!
Please welcome the newest addition to our family, fish-with-no-name-yet-because-I-am-crazy-and-I-am-scared-he-will-die-so-I-can’t-bear-to-get-attached-yet. Come on folks, we all know how often we find our pet fish floating in their bowl and let’s face it, the fact that Husband poured him in a kitchen strainer (while I squealed and bounced around behind him) before putting him in his bowl may have set the odds against him. But, so far, so good.
Sassy Suggestion
January is a time for self-reflection and setting theoretically wonderful goals for ourselves. For example, this one side of me tends to create a 7 page report of what I should do or improve and hands it to the side of me that is watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians only as I am waiting for the next Real Housewives of I-dont-care-what-city-because-I-love-them-all to come on. I acknowledge the first four items on the list (all the way down to the one that says “do 100 crunches, squats, and lunges after your daily 5 mile run) before giving that crazy bitch the finger and going back to Bravo tv.
The point is people, New Year’s Resolutions are one of the dumbest things I have ever heard of. I am willing to bet my new sparkly shoes that nobody keeps these stupid, dumb, waste-of-time, “resolutions”. (Please do not even get me started on DIETS. A DIET will not keep you thin and healthy because one can only DIET for a certain amount of time before they give their “other side” the finger and grab three jelly donuts and a box of fried chicken as an appetizer.)
Phew. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t want to work on things. But I get bored. Very bored. With almost everything. Except Bravo TV or E! But I would never be able to commit to something extraneous every single day. I would never do it. In an effort to do something with myself and hopefully not bore myself to tears, I am going to write once a week about *different* things I can do between watching Kim’s marriage unravel on television and clicking refresh on facebook that will satisfy Crazy Biatch with the 7 page report, while also hopefully impacting someone or something (big or small *and no, I am not referring to the size of the person*) in a good way. Umm hello? You too! I mean I can give you directions to the nail salon, but I am not painting your nails for you, Miss Priss! (Similar to “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it?….nevermind, geez.)
Coronado Murders…eek!
So, in case you haven’t heard on the news, there were four people killed in an apparent murder-suicide just a couple of hours into the new year. You can read one of the articles about it here.
It is so sad, and so, so mysterious. What could have happened? Why would a Navy guy in pilot training go out downtown with his roommate and his roommate’s sister (and another guy) to ring in 2012, then come home and kill everyone, then himself? I am dying to know why.
Why do I care you wonder? Oh, just because it happened two blocks from my house! I mean, that’s not the only reason, but it is what everyone in this little town is talking about right now.
Coronado is like Mayberry, but beachy and with mansions. And with a whopping one murder on the books from the entire last year, four in one night has everyone frazzled.
We walked to the beach the day it happened and there was yellow crime scene tape and media trucks galore. Very surreal.
So anyway, I’m freaked out now and on top of the murders there has been this crazy creepy fog that keeps engulfing the island every night. It looks like a death cloud coming from the ocean and it slowly moves inland and as it does, it takes everything out of sight. It is the thickest fog I’ve ever seen and it gives me shivers. Taking the dogs out for their nightly walk has become dreadful. Like some scene out of a horror movie, you can hear things/voices near you, but can see nothing. Ugh! The husband thinks I am crazy (as usual). When I come back inside at night, I’m all weirded out and saying how creepy it is and his response is…”It’s fog, Jenny.” As if you can’t look out our window and see all the makings of a zombie movie or psycho killer flick. Umm hello, 4 people just got murdered on our sleepy little sweet Mayberry island!….IN the fog I might add! You do the math!
View of the zombie death fog from our balcony |
Now I’m in the market for a gun. That’s right. I’m going to be ready when the zombies come out of the fog or when the serial killer hits this turns-out-not-so-sweet-Mayberry-wannabe-town.
Since the first time I came here, it felt like the town was a little too perfect. I still love living here, but I can’t help but wonder what other “uglies” are not visible. As if I needed anything to flood my already insane/unrealistic/neurotic imagination.
To any literary people who like to make non-existant comparisons and analyze literature and find common themes and other extremely useful things that I, as an English major was taught to do…here is my comparison to this town: